Review On The Move – Oliver Sacks

On the Move - Oliver Sacks Image courtesy of www.oliversacks.com
On the Move – Oliver Sacks Image courtesy of www.oliversacks.com

Lately, I have taken to reading biographies of people I admire or who seem to have interesting lives – they have a biography after all. I chose ‘On the Move’ by Oliver Sacks because I had read his ’The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat’ while studying psychology ages ago. I had enjoyed that book immensely, and I was eager to learn more about this doctor whose field was Neuropsychology, which was my favorite while studying as well. This book, however, was not as I had expected.

Roughly the first half was plain out boring. The book discusses him moving from England to Canada and then to the USA. To me, it was not that interesting to read. He tells how he travels a lot on a motorbike through the US. I don’t care for motorcycles. I don’t care whether he had a BMW or a Norton or a Harley Davidson. To me, it’s all the same. To me, all cars are the same, to the great annoyance of my husband. I wanted to read about the neurological problems, not read about an episode of Top Gear.

At a certain point, about halfway through, things got better, and the story picked up. Dr. Sacks got to work in a hospital, and he got to treat patients with rare conditions. I loved reading about his time with the patients who had the 1920s sleepy sickness. He wrote the book Awakenings about these patients, which was later turned into the movie with the same title. I was surprised to read how Robert De Niro and Robin Williams prepared for their roles in this movie. I had not realized they would actually spend time with patients and live like their characters for days in a row.

This book was both a disappointment and an eye-opener for me. It was a disappointment because a lot of what was told was boring to me, for example, meetings with other professors or woes in his family. On the other hand, I hadn’t known he had never had one university he worked for. He always remained something of a freelancer, hopping from one hospital to another while writing his books on the subjects he chose. He has one book: ‘A Leg To Stand On’ which has taken him years and years to write. He describes a 30-day trip he took to write, where he only wrote one day. Even successful writers struggle with writing.

In the end, I cannot decide, and I don’t think he could either, whether he was more a doctor/scientist or a writer. He just always wrote. Unfortunately, he has passed away last August. The world lost a great caring doctor and an inspiring writer. I am glad he has shared his wisdom with the world.

Journey to Darkness

I have been on a journey. Not a phDepositphotos_24765967_original kopiekleinysical one, but a spiritual one. It lasted
almost six months. I’ve been through lows and highs. I left for this journey almost without a partner and ended up gaining him back. I’ve had sexual encounters that were new. I’ve been to Middle Earth. And then, in the darkest of dark, I found me.
At the beginning of this year, I was unhappy in my relationship and so was my husband. We talked about it and finally decided that we both wanted to open up our relationship. I craved attention from other men, and we decided to give this a form and place in our relation. We chatted with many men, and we had a few dates. We. The both of us together with a third person present. By now they’ve all left our lives again, but I wouldn’t have wanted to miss it for the world.

I learned two huge things: Apart from being a submissive I can also be a dominant, and I never want to lose my husband. I know I have a lot of issues, but these men did too. Some were too clingy; some disappeared for weeks on end to come back and expect everything to be the same as when they left. Apart from many sexy times it also has given me heartache and even a slight form of depression. So for now, I’m done with other men, and I’m very happy to stay with my husband.

I’ve journeyed to Middle Earth many times, in the form of the MMORPG Lord of the Rings Online. I like playing my lore master, and she is now finally max-level! Yay for me! Killing orcs and trolls gives you some form of satisfaction that is hard to find in the real world. Yet it never really satisfies me, not deep down.

I have journeyed to dark places within myself. I have come to realize that I should accept those dark sides of me. The stories I write are dark in essence. Most contain some form of dubious consent or something bordering on abuse. That is what I write. That is what I like to read. It is not what I wish to anyone to have to go through in real life, but it is something I need in my fantasy. It may be deviant, weird, strange, but it is me. I found my home and solace in the darkness.

Fear

I’ve been thinking about writing this postDepositphotos_72511619_l for a long time. For so long actually that I haven’t written any other posts in the meantime. As mentioned earlier in other posts, I worry about what to reveal as Liz Black. I don’t want to divulge too much personal information. I don’t want people in my day job to find out and should I ever get fans I don’t want them to be able to find my home address. What is all this based upon? Fear.

I am afraid of many things. I am afraid to lose the few people I have left. I am afraid of leaving my job. I am afraid of the dentist. I am afraid of the dark. I am afraid this whole writing thing is a scam, and I will never be able to sustain myself with it. I am afraid of developing some serious disease. I am afraid of losing my mind. I am afraid of never reaching my full potential. I am afraid I’ll never write a decent story in my life ever again. The only thing I’m not afraid of is death.

Why am I telling this now? When I published my first story about six months ago, I decided not to be the person to complain all the time. I used to have people like that on Facebook, and I blocked them because of it. The problem is that I became silent. I turn silent when I have nothing useful to say. I don’t think that’s a bad trait, but it wasn’t helping me building a presence online.

My fear is also blocking my writing. My sales have been abysmal over the last two months. Now with every story that I come up with, every word that I write I wonder whether it will sell. I’m not writing for me anymore. I don’t write anymore. I have not been able to lose myself in a scene in a long time. And that’s when I do my best writing. I keep staring at the blank screen, and every writer knows how scary that is. I hate every sentence that I type. Of course I’ve been trying to write stories just for me, but even that mind trick doesn’t work anymore.

I’ve been seeing a homeopath, and I’ve been given drops to help me with my depression and my anxieties. I feel a bit better now. I have a little more courage. I think it’s a struggle for the rest of my life. Lately I’ve also started to review indie stories. I enjoy that greatly. It’s fun to read good stories, and to help others by leaving a review.

The moral of this story? My silence has its causes. It’s not because I’m not interested. It’s not because I’m not putting an effort into my writing. The demons from my past have been blocking me for a long time now. I hope one day to slay them and to be able to say I am happy. Though I doubt that day will ever come.

Swayed by Rock

‘Swayed by Rock’ is as the title suggests a hot story about a rock star and how he seduces a journalist of classical music. At first Joan is intimidated by the tattoos and the free moral the band members appear to have towards sex. Will the drummer be able to sway her from the stiff circumstances she is used to?

‘Swayed by Rock’ has been released on Amazon and Smashwords and is now available for purchase:

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Smashwords

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Kobo

 

 

Joan’s always been happy with her Bach—or even Beethoven if she really wanted to let her hair down. Filling in for a colleague one day, she meets famous, arrogant and disinterested rocker Rick for what should be a simple interview—and is soon thrust into an unfamiliar world of excess and debauchery.

SwayedByRockShe had heard all the stories, but never believed they were real. Running from her shock she bumps into Rick’s bandmate, drummer Ken.

Ken has been a drummer his whole life. Laid back, but brooding with a painful past, he offers to do the interviewhimself. As the interview progresses, Joan discovers that there’s something much deeper to the drummer…

As Joan finds herself thrust into the center of the world of rock ‘n’ roll—and with only one vaguely familiar face, she has to ask herself some serious questions. Can Ken teach Joan the wild spirit of rock ‘n’ roll—or will Joan’s passion rub off on the disillusioned drummer?

This 6500 word story details the electric sexual interaction between two consenting adults: the rebellious rocker and a straight-laced journalist.

Excerpt ‘Drained by Him’

The story ‘Drained by Him’ was actually inspired by a Twilight movie. This is not because I hate the franchise, but I watched the final movie and I thought back to the vampire story I had written: ‘Quench his Thirst‘. Writing about vampires is addictive in a way, because he is my meanest character and one of the few characters that does not necessarily fall in love with his victims. I wanted to combine the vampire with an online dating site. The second girl in my story, the stupid one, was not planned but kept popping back up. So I incorporated her into the story and put her blood to good use 🙂

‘Drained by Him’ has been released on Amazon and is now available for purchase or to download through Kindle Unlimited:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYCMDAO

DrainedbyHim2

One vampire – two girls

One girl wants the vampire’s blood for the special powers, the other girl wants to sacrifice her blood so her death won’t be in vain. He seizes the opportunity to make the best of both worlds. Guess which one of the three will get his desires?

 

 

 

Free excerpt from the story:

Warning! This story is for adults only and not for
the faint of heart!

“I know. I’m going to let you go. You will kneel down before me. I will blindfold you and you will get the blood you crave so much. In thanks you will suck me.”

“Okay.” Her voice was smaller now. He shoved her away. She rubbed the back of her head, but didn’t say anything.

She turned around and knelt down before him. He pulled a blindfold out of his pocket and pulled it over her eyes.

“Stick out your tongue.”

“How much will you give me?”

“Enough.”

She pouted, but then stuck out her tongue. Arthur opened the vial and let a few drops of Oleander’s blood land on Z.’s tongue. He quickly resealed the vial and put it away. It smelled way too good.

“Swallow.”

She swallowed it.

“That’s it?”

“The blood is strong. I don’t want you to OD.”

Z. threw her head back as if in ecstasy. “Mmm, you’re right. It is strong. I can feel the energy flowing through me. It’s like I can taste your maleness. This feels so good.”

Arthur shook his head. This girl was so full of bullshit. He lowered his pants and stroked his dick. The smell of blood had turned him on and, if anything, the girl would be hot and wet around him.

“Open,” he commanded.

“Oh, more blood?”

He grabbed her by the back of her head and pushed his dick into her mouth hard. She spluttered, but he wouldn’t back out. She tried to speak, but he wouldn’t have it. He fucked her mouth hard. To feel her wet warm saliva around his cold flesh felt amazing. It would have been better while drinking her blood, but this was a good second. He fucked her relentlessly until he came. This was not in his top 10 of best fucks ever, but it would have to do.

He pushed her away and walked to the sink to clean himself. She coughed and pushed her blindfold up.

“Wow, that was rough. Couldn’t you be more careful?”

“You wanted blood, you got blood. This was the price. If you want more blood, come back next week.”

The Magic of Writing

Sometimes I forget what a privilegeDepositphotos_68598973_original I have by being able to write stories.

First a disclaimer: this is not an arrogant piece about how great a writer I am. I’m actually very insecure as a writer and can still hardly believe others want to read my stories. This is not a call for compliments either. This is merely about my craft.

I am a lucky person for being able to conjure up and write down stories. To me, writing comes as easy as say: cooking a meal when you have the right ingredients. I can sit down and write a story without much difficulty. I say I forget this, because to me it comes pretty natural. I have a way with words, a good feel for languages and a large fantasy to come up with the strangest situations. When looking at my husband for example, I realize this is not always the case. He has a large fantasy and can come up with the most amazing stories. But he cannot write them down. He wouldn’t know what words to use, how to structure a story and he doesn’t feel the need. This is not a fault of his. It is not wrong. It just made me realize that I, as a writer, am different and harness some certain skills.

For as long as I can remember I have written stories. Always short stories, with the exception of one longer fan fiction story. They haven’t always been sexual stories, but recently most have. My ‘gift for writing’ is not exclusive to writing stories. I can write reviews, I have written academical essays and I can even write poetry if I put my mind to it. I only need inspiration and time.

No, writing is not always easy to me. I wish it were. Most of the time nothing comes out. I can have a great idea or no inspiration at all. Sometimes all the sentences I write are plain crap. Sometimes checking Pinterest for the one thousandth time is way more interesting than trying to cram out words. Even reading Twitter and seeing the same cat pictures over and over again can be a hundred times more alluring than conjuring up my own world and having characters do what I want them to do.

But do you know what my best scenes and stories are? When an image grips me and I feel compelled to write it down. Sometimes it deals with a story I am currently writing, sometimes it doesn’t. It can be a random image, like when I saw a stool in my house and I saw my main character sitting on that stool with her legs spread and my male character touching her in that position. Usually a vision like that will not go away until I have written it down and it often comes out as a ‘good scene’, one that gets approved by me.

So am I happy that I have this gift? Usually? No, I’m not. I’d much rather be able to watch television without feeling guilty. I wish I could go out to clubs and dance and drink and fulfil my life that way. But I can’t. I need to force myself to go to my writing room with a healthy cup of herbal tea and focus on my story. And of course, once it’s going it feels great. I get this gut feeling that I am doing important things, that the real ‘me’ gets to have her say. And yes, sometimes when I reread something I have written a couple of weeks earlier I can even be a bit proud of what I have written. Sometimes the stories are actually good. But it’s a never-ending quest. I will never write my last word until the day I die. Writers do not retire. Writers are meant to do their magic and share it with the world. And that’s what I’m doing now.

Drained by Him

My second horror release is out! A thousand year old vampire gets two requests by two separate girls. The one wants his blood, the other one wants to give him her blood. How will he reconcile the situation?

This is the second book in the ‘Bloodlust’ series. You can find book one, ‘Quench his Thirst’ here: http://lizblackx.nl/wordpress/?p=139

‘Drained by Him’ has been released on Amazon and is now available for purchase or to download through Kindle Unlimited:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYCMDAO

DrainedbyHim2

One vampire – two girls

One girl wants the vampire’s blood for the special powers, the other girl wants to sacrifice her blood so her death won’t be in vain. He seizes the opportunity to make the best of both worlds. Guess which one of the three will get his desires?

 

 

Mended by the Billionaire

Part 2 of the Surrender series is out now! In the first part, Healed by the Billionaire, it took a while for Walter and Michelle to get to know each other. But now that they do, will Michelle trust Walter enough to continue on the healing process that was started in book one?

‘Mended by the Billionaire’ has been released on Amazon and is now available for purchase or to download through Kindle Unlimited:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UB3JNCM

 

MendedbytheBillionaire

 

Billionaire Walter wants Michelle to touch him. Despite her fears, how far will she go? 

The first steps were set in ‘Healed by the Billionaire’, part one of ‘Surrender’, but the journey continues. 

 

 

Excerpt ‘Ass for Auction’

I was out for a walk when the idea for an auction story AssforAuctioncame to me. I don’t know from where, probably a random hit from the land of the muses. My husband thought I was angry with him because I was walking so fast and apparently with my hands balled into fists. I wasn’t angry, I was seeing the scene where the girl was auctioned off and bought by the most beautiful man in the audience.

When I had written down the auction-bit, I considered what I would find most exciting to happen next in the weekend. Anal. So anal became the central theme for the weekend. I had a great time writing this story and I hope you’ll enjoy it too.

‘Ass for Auction’ has been released on Smashwords and is now available for purchase:

Buy from Kobo
Buy from Barnes and Noble Nook
Buy from Smashwords
Buy from GoodReads
Buy from Apple iBooks
Buy from Amazon Kindle

 

Update March 22nd!Hisfortwonights

Amazon has marked this book as ‘adult’, so in response I have chastened the cover and title. The new title is ‘His for Two Nights’. And a new cover:

 

 

 

 

 

Free excerpt:

“Come, I’ll help you lie down.” He sat upright, helped me move from him and helped me to lie down. I was lying on my back, hands still bound. He got down next to me; our faces were almost level.

“So what are your plans for the weekend?”

“Plans?” I thought the point was that I couldn’t have any plans.

“Apart from being stuck here with me. Is there anything you’re interested in? Anything you’d like to learn?” I chewed at my lip. His hand moved between my labia and started to softly stroke my inner flesh.

“No, not really.” His stroking became more intense. “You will not hurt me, right?” He huffed.

“Look into my eyes and tell me if you think I’d hurt you.”

I looked into his eyes, but I did not understand what he meant.

“Ehm, no?”

“I will not hurt you. I’m no sadist.” His fingers plunged deep into my pussy. “I will, however, make you come. Repeatedly.”

He fingered me so hard I could no longer focus on his words, only on his actions. With one hand he frantically rubbed my clit while with the other he fucked me hard. My head moved from side to side on the bed.

“We will explore your limits, girl, until pleasure causes pain. We will find a lesson for you to learn.” He managed to hit spots with his fingers that seemed to be connected to my core. No one had ever made me feel like this before, certainly not with his hands in a matter of seconds.

I could not fight the orgasm that was building within me. The room disappeared around me. All I knew and felt were his hands. He was relentless. I screamed when I came. The man continued to move within me, slower now. His fingers still worked their magic.

Instead of pulling out of me he continued to stroke me. I heard the slopping sounds from the juices in my cunt. When I looked at him he was focused on my body, trying to find the right angle to please me most. And he found it, again. Slightly different than before he had found a most stimulating spot. It took a bit longer this time, but again I screamed as I came.

Two whole seconds. That’s all he gave me to recuperate. Then his hand started to move again, this time with his other hand on my clit. My skin was so sensitive from the orgasms. I could not keep still. My body was moving back and forth while my moans became louder. At last all I could utter was: “No, no, no.” Yet he kept on moving and I reached my third orgasm in a row.

He stroked my stomach as I calmed down. The hand between my legs was about to start moving again; it was already stroking my labia.

“No, no, please,” I begged him.

“No? Not one more?”

Review of Fifty Shades of Grey – the Movie

fifty-shades-of-grey
Photo : Facebook/Fifty Shades of Grey

So, is Fifty Shades of Grey the movie as tiresome as the books? No, not entirely. This movie evoked some emotions in me,  some more positive than others. I shall confess right now that I did read the books. I wanted to know what the fuss was all about and why there were posters of a BDSM-smut book on the railway station all of a sudden. I liked the first half of the first book because of the tension between Anastacia and Christian. I disliked the other two and a half books, but I read them anyway because I wanted to know how the story ended.

What I hated most about the books was that there were too many sex scenes. Yes, that made me chuckle too. I am not just a writer of erotica, I read the stuff too. I have read hundreds, maybe thousands of stories and still, or maybe because of it, this series managed to bore me. All the scenes were alike and when you write something similar to reality, your characters don’t just have sex every time they smell each other. A big plus for the film was for me that they eliminated most of these scenes.

About the characters in the movie, or rather the actors portraying them: Anastacia was okay, Christian a little less than okay. I think Anastacia played her submissive role okay. She is quite passive, but that is also how she is written. I doubt whether the actor playing Christian is a true dominant. I can usually sense these things and with him I sensed little. Of course there is still the question whether the character Christian Grey is a true dominant. In my opinion he isn’t, but we’ll get to that later.

The first sexual encounter between them is terrible. I refer to the ‘let’s solve that issue now’-‘lose the virginity’-scene. I hated that in the book and I still hate it on screen. That is not the way to deal with that ’issue’, which shouldn’t be an issue at all. If you do want to ‘solve’ it, then at least make it romantic and take your time. And give the poor girl some time to adjust to the idea.

Most of the sex-scenes in the movie were okay, some even a bit better than okay. I loved the first kiss in the elevator and the sex on the bed while playing with his grey tie was fun too. I even liked the scenes in his playroom. For once they did show the good side of BDSM. I loved how he demonstrated with her that the whip doesn’t have to hurt. It’s not the pain per se that turns people on, but more the impact, the shock of the impact. I thought these scenes were hot and arousing, though I could have done with a little less Beyoncé.

And then we come to the final scene. I hate it. The scene where he hurts Ana to show her his deepest desires is not about BDSM. No true dominant would do that to his submissive. It shows a lack of control and a breach of trust that can never be mended. But it’s in the book, so I can’t blame the movie for it.

I like the movie better than the book. There are annoying things from the book in the movie, but I enjoyed the movie more than I had expected. Christian is still jealous, obsessed, possessive and troubled, but he was okay to look at and I loved the twinkle in his eyes. Ana is a good portrayal of the girl I pictured when reading the books.

I think they found a good balance of the amount of sex in the books and transforming that to a movie that could be displayed to the general public in a cinema. I think the housewives who got red ears from reading the books won’t be disappointed and even the more kink-oriented people will be entertained somewhat. Was it the best movie I have ever seen? Not by far. What is my final verdict? Considering the material they had to work with the movie was okay. Not brilliant or abominable, but okay. Good enough.