Finding That One Dream to Pursue

Job of Dreams

Watching porn as part of your day job is a dream, right? Testing sex toys, imagining hot scenarios for stories, writing sexual content must be a dream job.
The past couple of weeks, I’ve been wondering why I chose this life. I mean, I could have been a psychologist, an academic, maybe even a doctor if I had tried. How did I even get here, and is this really my dream?

Easy Peasy

Growing up, I was always the smart one. School was easy for me, and while I worked hard in high school, I got perfect grades. Like every twenty-year-old, during university, I thought the world was open to me. I was confident I was gonna breeze through my Psychology studies, and from there, I would slide into a career where I would soon make it to the top. I had seen the same thing happening at high school and at my part-time retail job, so why would it be any different now?

It didn’t work out that way. I quit my studies, studied English for a couple of years before abandoning that too. Do you know what was missing all this time? The dream.

What Do I Want?

I did not have one dream I could chase.
Was it my dream to become a psychologist? Not really. I wanted to help my family, my friends, myself, but I also discovered that without a network and without a lot of money, this was unattainable.
The same went for life in academics. The moment I learned there were 2,000 applicants for one position, I realized how slim my chances for a career in this field would be.
But working in retail, that I had done all these years, was not for me either.

Writing It Is

And so, I turned to the one dream I had always had: writing. And not just any writing, but writing about the subject that was dearest to me: sex.

No, it wasn’t my dream to become a sex blogger. Hell, I didn’t even know that was a thing. I’ve always had a vague vision of becoming a professional writer, though I did not know in what shape or form. I never saw myself employed by a publisher for a series of novels, neither could I become a journalist. Both career tracks never appealed to me.

And so I wrote. Fanfiction, sexual fantasies, the two combined. I got the opportunity to review sex toys, which I’ve been doing ever since. And now I’ve started a blog through which I found a group of people with similar interests.

Living a Life Fulfilled

So yes, you could say I’m living my dream. Does it always feel that way? Do I wake up with a feeling of bliss because I get to spend the day writing about sex? Alas, no. It doesn’t work like that.
It’s a job, and like any other job, it can become just as tedious. But you know what? When I sit down and have to start writing a story that I may not feel like at the time, I know it’s a thousand times better than working at the cash register in a supermarket at 8 AM. For the first time in my life, I’m working a job that I wanted, that I consciously chose. Right now, I’m following my dream.

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