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Throughout my life, I have seen and lived through plenty of drama. I’ve seen people who almost relished and enjoyed it. I remember my colleague and me looking at how some of our coworkers behaved. These people knew how to generate drama, but at the same time, a lot of bad things happened to them too.
I have managed to remove many people who fell into this category from my life. What has been the role of ‘drama’ in my life? Did I learn anything of it? And how do I see my future after this lifetime of misery?
Rough Childhood
My childhood was filled with drama, as were my teenage years. I’ve been reading through my diaries that I kept religiously during those years, and, man, what a mess. Sure enough, events were happening that warranted the dramatic response, but a lot of stuff wasn’t. I mean, I know I was in love with a boy from my class, but to describe half a page every day (!) of where he was sitting in class that day or any tiny exchanges we may have had. Way over the top, Liz, no need for that at all.
Recognising
I’ve learned to recognize drama. Some people close to me like to see it and whip it up. I’ve learned to take a step back, breathe, and try to keep a level head.
Does this always work? No, of course not. I’m pretty emotional and prone to panic attacks, so often enough, I do get swept away and let it overwhelm me.
My husband and I are very selective about who we allow into our lives. Potential friends with a high level of drama will not be allowed into our house. I’m not entirely sure if this is always a good decision because sometimes our life seems too flat and even, but we have little to no avoidable drama.
More Bad News than Good News
The last time I received harrowing news, I was pretty calm. The only upside of already having lived through a lot of drama, I was able to accept it realistically. All I could think was: ‘I have had more bad-news conversations in my life than good-news ones, so why would this surprise me?’ My husband always says: the upside of being a pessimist is that you’re always prepared for the worst. And, of course, I later did cry about the bad news I had gotten. It did knock me off my feet for a few days. I’m not unbreakable.
I feel like my soul is calloused. It’s not that I can’t be hurt or shocked.
No Preventable Drama
I’ve grown up in an abusive household. I lost both my parents before age thirty. I’ve been betrayed by close friends and lovers. I’ve been fired from jobs I depended on. I’ve lived through my fair share of drama. I choose to live with as little drama as possible. At the same time, I’m preparing myself for what’s to come: illness and loss of close ones, potential future loss of income and whatever else life still has in store for me. But until that day: no preventable drama, please.
I’ve found that experience can curb a lot of drama. I suppose that’s why so much drama seems to hit us at a younger age. Life is hard a lot of the time, but that can anneal us in some good ways – not that it removes misfortune and pain, but it helps to put it in perspective that is more manageable. Unfortunately, not everyone makes that connection and to some people the drama is an addiction. I usually kick those people to the curb.
Nice post.
I like your definition of ‘addicted to drama.’ I think you’re right there and a lot of people get stuck in that way of life. It’s better to take a step back and just see what happens instead.
I work with young people, so drama is pretty much a constant element in my life. Because of it, though, I have learned to wade through it, avoid it, and call it like I see it. It helps me to put drama in perspective in my personal life, too. Like you, I avoid it, but sometimes it finds us, forces itself on us, and waits for our reaction. That’s the part I’m working on.
Yes, those instances where ‘drama’ does find us are always unpleasant. Its intent is to destabilise you and it often succeeds :s
I had a friend who could not survive one month to the next without inventing some drama – took me a while to realise she made a lot of it up, enjoying the attention. People are odd! I dont like drama lol
May xx
Yes, I’ve had people like that in my life too. Reconnecting with them years later, I discovered they were still doing that. So no, not for me.
The older I get, the more I am avoiding drama too. You made me laugh about your journals, writing so much about the boy in your class. Teeangers 😉
~ Marie xox
I was so disappointed in myself, reading those long tales of his whereabouts 😛 I mean, I knew I had been in love with him, but it was literally half the page for months at a time. I’m glad I grew out of that :p
A lot of relatable instances here for me also, Liz. I’m used to be frequently ‘disappointed’ by almost everyone I considered friends or respectful lovers. Being raised in chaos has made us more resilient at ‘bad news’, we must learn to accept not everyone is a shitbag. How do we learn the difference, I wonder, when its always been a matter of time not an if?
I’m struggling with that last question a lot. I try to make friends, but my experiences indeed have learned me that it can be only a matter of time before they will betray me in the end. Yes, I have trust issues because of my life experiences.
Yep, strong agreement here
Get ready for the worst. The best will be a surprise.
Life without drama does not seem too boring or flat to me. Let it be like this.