My Spirituality: From Meditation to Tarot

Separate From Religion

I don’t often talk about spirituality. Somehow it’s a very private and personal topic for me, and yet very important.

First of all, I’m not talking about religion. I’m not a Christian. I’ve had many Christian friends, and I’ve been to church on numerous occasions. I’ve also read large parts of the Bible. But I don’t feel comfortable with the rules of religion. They appear too man-made and don’t serve any spiritual goals, apart from containing society and making money for the people on top.

Respect for Christianity

Mind you, I do respect the church and its believers. I never use themes of religion in my writing for this reason. Just because I don’t believe in it, doesn’t mean other people can’t find comfort in the thought of an omnipotent God. I don’t like stories or videos about nuns or priests doing the nasty. If I can avoid it, I skip the videos of performers in religion-themed costumes. There’s still plenty of other content out there for me to enjoy.

So what do I believe? I believe in the force of nature. I think there’s more than the eye can see. I believe we’re on earth because our souls have lessons to learn. How do I incorporate these beliefs into my everyday life?

Down To Earth

First of all, I’m a Virgo. And yes, I do believe in astrology. That is, when you read a description of a Virgo, that’s 100 % me. Except for the excessive cleaning and keeping everything neat part. What belongs to this Zodiac sign is that I am a ground-type. I’m emotional and analytical, but overall I’m quite calm and stable, you could say connected to the earth.
What flows from this is my tendency to be literally down to earth. I mean, I’ve looked into Wicca, but I decided that’s too far out there for me. I prefer things that are not that woolly and are not based on real ‘magic.’

Meditation

One example of an activity of mine is my renewed interest in meditation. I use the app ‘Insight Timer’, and I try to do a daily, guided meditation. It definitely helps me to fall asleep. When I meditate during the morning, I feel like it makes me slightly calmer throughout the day. My mind is always busy, spinning even, so meditation is the right way of calming that down. I like focusing on my breathing. And no, this is not spiritual per se. There is plenty of scientific evidence of the benefits of meditation. But for me, it’s part of my spirituality.

Clairsentience

The second example of my spirituality is my clairsentience. I’m not clairvoyant. I don’t know the future. But once in a while, I know something. I have it most strongly with things in the mail. When not at home, I sometimes know for sure the critical piece of mail I was waiting for, has arrived.
During the sale of our last house, I knew for sure when I first saw the name of the person coming for viewing, they were going to buy it. And they did.
Like Phoebe from Charmed when she first discovers her gift for premonitions, mine are pretty useless. They’re never about the big things. I had no particular feelings or inklings when my parents passed away.
I still don’t believe this gift of mine is magic. I’m hypersensitive and an empath. I just think I pick up on things most people are not open for. Just like I can read people’s emotions and sense how they’re feeling. I always feel like I have an extra port open that most people have it closed.

Tarot

The only activity I participate in that sort of resembles magic is that I read Tarot cards. I use them too for divination.
Roughly fifteen years ago I bought my first deck, the basic Rider Waite cards, and took a short course. I had no idea what I was doing then. I was learning the basic definitions of the cards, and I tried to do some readings, but it never told me much.
Years later, I found a book on Tarot in a second-hand bookstore that did speak to me. I bought the deck they used in this book, the Robin Wood deck, and I started a tarot journal. Slowly but surely, things were beginning to make sense. I would draw a daily card and interpret it for the day that passed. Just a few weeks ago, I had to start a new diary, since that first one was all filled up.
I come back to reading Tarot every couple of months, sometimes only once per year. Usually, when I have big things going on, I do a reading to see what the cards say.

Too Specific

To me, the cards are eerily specific. The day when I got a raise at work, the card I drew that evening said literally that in its definition. So do I think Tarot is magic?
No, I don’t. I think in some way my mind, or the universe, guides what cards show up in my reading. And what I see as divination, is merely a representation what the world could look like if everything is continued as today.
Two weeks ago, my reading was so dark and gloomy that I haven’t dared to do another reading since, but looking back, I guess it makes sense. Today the world is in lockdown over the current pandemic, so I guess that would explain the cards of depression and despair, even though I’m not (yet) affected personally.

Spiritual, To A Degree

So yes, I do identify as a spiritual person. I love reading my horoscope every day. I have different gemstones in my room and in the living room. I use essential oils for their health benefits. But, and there’s a big but here, I do everything within reason. There has to be some form of scientific background for all these activities.
I think focusing on your breathing calms you down, as does breathing in a little lavender oil. Since I’m hypersensitive in everything, I believe I pick up more than the average person. This can be emotions and perhaps sometimes things from the future.
I can’t explain why Tarot works for me, only that it feels natural. I know they’ve tried to replicate it within a scientific setting and it failed utterly. I don’t often share with people that I do this, with it being so misunderstood and ‘out there’. But hey, it works for me, so that should be enough.

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