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How I watch porn is what I often call my ‘porn-therapy.’ I’m not addicted; let’s make that clear from the beginning. I can go weeks, or even months, without watching any. But then, when I do come across it again, it feels good. In a way, it feels like coming home. Watching porn awakens a side of me that sometimes gets lost. And I use it for practical purposes in my life too. But let’s begin with escapism.
Letting Go
I’m a sensible person with many rules, most of them self-imposed. I have trouble having fun, and I often forget to. I’ll mindlessly scroll through Twitter or watch TV, but more often than not, that doesn’t count as having fun.
When I open a site like BDSMLR or Xhamster, and I’m at least slightly in the mood, it’s like a door opens up, and I relax. I can let go and lose myself in the pictures and videos shown. If possible, I can do this for hours on end. And yes, like most watchers, looking for more extreme videos with every click. But that’s all right. I’m able to lose myself in these videos. I love imagining the pain these women endure since I watch mostly BDSM videos, often amateur. While watching, I can let go of myself and everything that’s holding me back on a day to day basis. And that’s what I need.
Writing Inspiration
Now, as you might have guessed, this is often combined with masturbation. But I also use watching porn to get myself in the mood for writing erotica. I don’t always do this, but the work that comes out will often be extremely dry and will lack true sexiness. If I’m planning to write afterwards, I make sure I don’t go as far as when I’m masturbating. I’ll only want a slight tingle, a small reminder of what it can be like. I often pick one photo of the genre that I’m writing in, open that in a separate tab, or download the picture. When I am lost for words while writing the story, I’ll open the image and often, it will set me back on track for the overall narrative. And yes, I’ll often come across the picture during my other online activities, which keeps the tiny sexy feeling alive throughout the day.
Real Life Play Inspiration
Another use I have for porn is that it often gives me ideas for play with my dominant. I have this paddle with holes because I saw it being used in videos on spankingtube.com. I sometimes forget that these videos’ spankees are often professional fetish actresses, and I’m not. And this paddle hurts a lot. But that’s only one example. And we’ve used this paddle in almost every spanking I’ve had since we bought it.
I also like to copy the settings I’ve watched in the videos I’ve seen. Things like breast bondage or predicament bondage are often inspired by these websites.
Porn Therapy
I jokingly call my porn consumption my ‘porn therapy.’ Watching these videos brings me instant joy and relaxation, like not much else. They open up my sexier side, and I often literally think: “Oh right, that’s how it felt,’ after not watching for a long time.
I have practical uses for watching porn, and I would say it’s an important part of my life. Without it, I often become too strict and cold and forget what it’s like to be sexy. And yes, I would definitely recommend watching porn to have a better and sexier life.
This is well-written article where you summarize many of my reasons for watching porn and reading erotic stories: self care through my life’s changes and my relationships’ changes. Watching helps my imagination and when watched with a partner helps our imagination to stay alive and playful. And when we’re absent from each other, watching porn together or separately helps our playful connection keep playful and helps us keep from numbing ourselves.
I tried to show that watching porn doesn’t have to be so negative and detrimental as the main stream media sometimes makes it out to be. Like you, it’s part of our relationship in a way that works for us and even improves our life and our relationship. Thanks for your comment ☺️
I liked your explanation. It’s like drawing inspiration from something. Someone writes poetry, and someone erotic prose. Why not!
Exactly 😄
And for lack of real life events, what else is there but watching porn 😆
I like the way you use porn for different purposes 😊
~ Marie xox
I so get this Liz – I think it can free us in some ways. I too don’t watch it much – and now it can tend to feel like a busman’s holiday – not sure u have that phrase – anyhow when i need porn it does what it says on the tin (ohhh another UK phrase lol)
May x
I looked it up:
‘The phrase busman’s holiday originated in British English and denotes a holiday or other period of leisure time in which a person does something of a similar nature to his or her normal occupation.’
It sounds familiar, my husband says I’m married to such a guy 😅, but I don’t know if there’s a similar expression in Dutch.
And you’re right, in our profession it is what it often comes down to.
And the ‘tin’ phrase I did get 😂
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You explained this in such a way that I relate to almost all of it (not watched any BDSM porn)
As a writer it does provide vital inspiration and as a consumer we do often start off light and go darker as we consume, seeking a bigger thrill every time.
Oddly enough as a sex blogger I still find porn a little awkward making to watch, but perhaps that’s because I feel like I’m actually in the room with them, invading their privacy – who knows. Anyway no shame needed about consuming or making porn I say, so long as everyone is consenting and kept safe.
I have the exact same experience watching Chaturbate. If it’s a guy on his own in his bedroom jacking off, it really feels like I’m invading his privacy. If it’s a girl who makes a show out of it, I feel less embarrassed. And if it’s pre-recorded, then there’s little shame in it. They put it online after all.
Thanks for your comment 🙂