I’m Not A Service Submissive, Or Am I?

Service Submission

I’ve always seen myself as an impatient and quite lazy person. Submissive too, yes, but not the easiest and most pliable one. My submissive dreams weren’t about serving men tea and coffee. In my wildest dreams, I serve men with my body, but with little choice or input of my own. That’s not congruent with the vision of a service submissive, in my mind. But it is that really the case for me?

Serve Me

In my day to day life, I prefer to be served. And no, not in a D/s kinda way, but in the ‘I’d rather not get up and make coffee myself’ kind of way. I despise everything having to do with household chores, whether it’s cleaning, preparing dinner or doing the laundry. So, out of myself, there’s little desire to be of service to anyone.

Customer Service

Looking back to my years in retail, I always found myself in a customer service role within three weeks of starting a new job. I mean operating the literal customer service desk to handle the most difficult of questions (and people). Whenever something intricate needed to be solved, they would call me for assistance, in case the managers were unavailable. Now, I didn’t give service with a smile. I smiled very little while working in those stores, but I was definitely customer- and service-oriented.

Service-Related Tasks

In my current BDSM-life, where we do call our relationship 24/7, I’m doing the most service-related tasks. It’s my job to bring my husband tea, to make sure there’s coffee, to prepare his breakfast in the morning and cook his dinner at night. Some of these tasks are what would have been present in a regular marriage too, but especially the tea-task is pretty D/s. My husband doesn’t always acknowledge it when I bring him his new beverage. Whether I like it or not, that does give me a slight tingle of submission.

Enjoying Serving

During one of the last weeks before the lockdown, we had friends over for dinner. They were kinky friends, a dominant and her submissive. They stayed over for dinner, and it was my task to supply them with drinks and snacks throughout the day. We hadn’t discussed this or anything, but it’s something my husband loathes doing. And the weirdest thing was since both these guests acknowledged my submission to my husband, I felt at ease in my role. I was getting close to enjoying myself in my part as a service submissive. It was indeed an eye-opener and one that I still haven’t fully come to grips with.

Reluctant

So service is definitely a thread throughout my life. It’s not a topic I enjoy, it doesn’t fill my heart with joy thinking about it, but I think I may be closer to a service submissive than I would like to admit. It comes quite natural to me. Now that we’re having guests over on a more regular basis, at least before the lockdown, I think I’m getting the hang of serving them properly. Where before I hardly knew what to do, my first question is now: would you like something to drink? So you see, we live and learn, even about ourselves.

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